2 Wings That Make You Fly

B”H

Yes, passion is important, 

Passion, intimacy, that melty, soaking feel of when youre in the bubble of seminary or Yeshivah, thats extremely important, its the Love of Hashem, of holiness of purity of Torah, its the deep, spirituality that makes your soul fly and melt and sing and dance with happiness and such good positive energy,

But to create a relationship that lasts, Jewish psychologist and psychometrician, Robert Sternberg says that passion and intimacy are not the only things that make a lasting loving relationship, but commitment as well, maybe he got this from studying Torah, because that's what Torah and Chassidic teaches us.

It teaches us that passion and intimacy come from the place of Ahava- Love and commitment stems from Yirah, a sense of awe or “fear”, Bitul.

(A bird cannot fly with one wing, so too we cannot have a health relationship with only one)

A knowing that, yes, not only do we absolutely love Gd, or love this person because of all the good, fun, romantic, honeymoon phase times, but even when the honeymoon phase is over, even when Yeshivah or seminary is finished, and we get thrown into the real world, we still understand the need to stay connected, and feed our relationship, because, even if its hard, were married, and being married to Gd is a forever thing. 

Its not just about the feelings we get from the high of Judaism, but its actually about the grounded real relationship thst were in, grounding the high-

Were not just married to Gd when were growing up, in our parents home, in school, in a routine education system that asks us to show up daily even if we dont want to, we are even married to Gd after that, in our every day, personal, grown up, adult lives, 

And if you think youre just married to Gd during The High Holidays, or any Jewish holiday, any funeral, or any wedding, but not married to Him on a regular Wednesday afternoon, or during your spring break vacation, 

Would you think that about someone you’re physically married to?

~

A long time ago, at the foot of a mountain called Sinai, after being redeemed from our 210 years of slavery in Egypt, we, a wandering people, accepted Gds (our Savior) marriage proposal to us.

Our binding contract is The Torah that Gd gave us through Moshe, and thats actually the time when we became The Jewish People,   

We entered the relationship saying 

“WE WILL DO,

AND THEN WE WILL LISTEN.”

Meaning, were all in, 

Meaning, we commit, before we were told exactly what it will entail, 

Before understanding what we’ll get out of it, besides for just saying yes and having a great big wedding, 

(We didnt know that it would come with so much personal satisfaction/personal highs as well when learning The Torah and doing Mitzvos)

Why?

Because we were just saved by this Gd, and saw all of the mind blowingly awesome miracles He did for us.

So automatically we were impressed and were like um 

“Yes! Is that even a question?!

So tell us now, what being married means 

Tell us now what being in a committed, long lasting, healthy relationship means, 

Tell us what serving You means”

We jumped in-

Not even thinking because our brains were still blown from witnessing and experiencing all the miracles Gd just did for us…

 If the man youre dating doesnt split the sea for you, let alone open your car door, honey, drop him, 

Bye boi bye.

He aint going to get a plate of homecooked nothing from you.

Were not saying the guy has to save you, because thats not such a healthy way to enter a longlasting healthy relationship, thats something just between us and Gd, 

But, the man does have to show you how much hes willing to do for you, 

How much hes willing to go out of his way and “split the sea” for you, and that could look different to many people, but the basics are foundational for every relationship, 

Its only natural that the guy shows how much he wants you, take birds for example, they do a whole dance while the female they want is the audience, and they wait breathlessly for her response.

Wherever you are, Hashem sends the man to you.

Maybe not straight to your front door, but who am i to say, you never even know,

He might have the wrong address of his friends new house, and shows up at your door unexpectedly,

But to be honest, it might be creepy, and unsafe, so if you dont meet eachother through mutual friends or someone trustworthy, DONT open your doors to strangers unless they have an amazon package for you, and are actually an amazon delivery guy and youre expecting your package—

And sidenote to all still in question- 

No, your amazon delivery guy is not your savior, or your future husband because he got your package to you on time or an hour early-

Hes just doing his job as an amazon delivery guy-

The most you can/should do for him is give the delivery 5 stars 

Anywho-

Back to this long lasting healthy passionate, intimate and committed relationship were in with Gd, which to be honest shows you and others how exactly you will be in a physical, person to person relationship as well

Take a religious Jew for example, 

Who keeps Shabbos and Kosher and learns Torah and does Mitzvos to the best of their ability daily- 

From a place of love, and knowing about the depth of a Jewish life-

How we are here to serve Gd, how Gd is our Master, our Father, our King, our other half, our best friend, and any other personal relationship dynamic you can think of, 

Avinu Malkeinu 

Gd took us out of Egypt, and as the Jewish singer Bob Dylan sang, in his song called “Gotta Serve Somebody”, we have to chose to serve somebody, in Egypt we were slaves to Pharoh and the Egyptian way of life, Gd took us out, and if we didnt accept to serve Him, we would probably resort to either being slaves of negativity and unholiness back in egypt or serving “devils” like the other nations, but every person, every human being is created with the nature to have to serve something- or else were purposeless, and Gd didnt make anything without purpose.

So, Gd took us out, and the only fitting response is to serve Him, because thats the ONLY reason He actually took us out of Egypt, for us to serve Him, 

Some people think it was just to ‘be free”

But what does freedom look like?

Is it John Lennons song, “Imagine”- where theres no heaven or hell, and basically no one has any purpose to live? To him, thats what peace and freedom looked like, though he was an atheist and his version of unity and peace was basically the definition of communism-

I actually learnt that he wrote his song because he was pissed at Bob Dylan for writing “Gotta Serve Somebody”. But hey, everyone has a place to express their opinion, and chose a side of what theyre actually serving, 

Does your definition of peace come with serving yourself, your limited being, like john thought, or does it come from an age old soul thats actually inside of you that actually knows that its probably more worth while to serve the One who actually created the whole world-

Gd, 

Our Father, our King 

Who always wants the best for us, even if our limited minds dont understand His ways...

…

So, how to serve Him?

Follow along to find out more on how to guide/ground your passion and have long lasting love <3