You decide.

B”H 

Growing up in a house where most of the kids were much older than me, my voice wasnt always heard or accepted 

Im the youngest and my parents didnt usually take what i said for any worth- 

I wasnt trying to be funny or entertaining like others, i wasnt trying to be rebellious, 

I was just trying to share truth. 

But when your voice isnt taken into consideration for so long, 

It gets pent up- 

And might explode if you dont have the correct outlet. 

Thank Gd, 

When you write on paper, or on the computer, 

The page or screen doesnt scream at you from a feeling of being threatened by the truth. 

Sometimes its hard for people to accept the truth and reality and plain simple logic, 

Sometimes its hard for people to accept idealistic ideas because they're too into reality and the tangible here and now, 

But i needed an outlet. 

One that didnt interrupt me, 

One that didnt say oh youre exagerating when i cleary wasnt 

One that didnt take the place of devils advocate 

One that just held space. 

For my voice, 

My words,

With the passion 

And intensity

But here, 

B”H 

But here it was less, because 

Finally 

Noone was pushing back- 

Finally i said something and it was like 

Ok 

Acceptance 

Holding 

Container 

A space to feel held. 

I remember one of the first times i really started writing- 

It was on my laptop

In my room 

On my bed 

In Israel, 

We made Aliyah, 

That year or a couple years before, 

Very recent,

I tried to bring up the experience with my mom, because we were the main ones who moved together- 

And each time i did, 

She would blow up, 

Or shut me down 

Or make an excuse that im being too emotional 

B”H 

Or just on my period 

This really hurt 

Badly 

I didnt have anyone to speak with about it 

Besides her

And she wasnt for it. 

Because she never was one for going into the pain or feelings 

And any sort of feelings 

Wasnt so true to her 

But i knew that it was because she was feeling maybe the exact way 

Or very similar 

And didnt want to seem like she was having a hard time too 

But i knew she was

Because of how she pushed me away.

I was about 15 when we moved. 

Across the world

New everything

Nothing the same

The same age both my parents were when they moved to the west coast separately with their families, not knowing of each-other 

This was her second time, 

My first time 

B”H 

It could have been very bonding 

It could have been raw and vulnerable and deep and create such a beautiful relationship for us, 

But sadly  

It was too painful for both of us, 

That we couldn't express it, 

Or else one of us would break-

Parents usually feel like they have to be the ones in control 

Having everything together 

Figured out 

No emotions 

Just getting on with it 

Maybe because theres no time to actually sit and DMC about hard painful things, cause where does it end- 

Or maybe some have a better time with time management that they have the ability to sit and speak and say, i only have this amount of time right now because we have things to do, and we can continue at this and this time- 

Maybe an hour of just bonding over similarities even if theyre not the most positive 

Maybe my mom was taught you just have to suck it up- 

And move on 

Was that the era back then?

Were they sacred that if you step in, its like pandoras box 

From feelings that weren't actually anything anyways-

A never ending loop of sadness and paralyzation 

Well honestly thats not good for anyone 

Its true

B”H 

But heres the thing, 

What comes of it- 

Is it paralyzing depression 

Or is it bonding and in that bonding coming to a place of understanding what positive things can come of it- 

Opening up, 

Together, 

And being vulnerable where the other person is on your side- 

Noone will attack you with the words that are coming out

Because its for a good cause 

Youre teammates 

What can we do for this 

Or what can we do to make it less challenging or more homey or more comfortable, 

Or 

What is Hashem trying to bring out from this-

Not dark negativity 

Hes trying to bring out positivity 

Theres a reason for this and we have to DMC on it 

Process what it might be 

Doing 

Torah and Mitzvos 

Learning Torah and Mitzvos, 

Connecting with others, 

Bonding 

Healing our pain 

Collectively 

B”H

Understand eachother more 

Knowing what the other person is going through so we can treat them nicer 

Knowing that we all go through stuff thats painful 

It doenst segregate, 

Because were human 

That the Nekudah 

The point 

The pin point 

The reason 

From bonding through our sadness, collectively understanding that were all human, 

To be happy in this moment and Thank Hashem for all our experiences 

For all our life 

To connect with Him 

Bringing us closer to each other, ourselves, Gd 

Unity 

Peace 

Redemption 

Were all in this together, 

Empathy. 

Mercy. 

We all have stories, 

Its what we chose to do with it and about it  

B”H 

That makes us who we are, 

Share your story.

allowing your own soul to find the goodness in it,

inspiring you to

inspire someone else

Why

Y is a letter that shows you the options 

You get to decide where it take you 

Which path it takes you down-